REFLECTION FROM MARCH 31ST, 2008**
RE: THE MYSTERY OF PERCEPTION & ITS IMPACT UPON OUR REALITY
WRITTEN – 3/31/2008 @ AGE 26
–Depressive Mood Follows with Sadness–
I hate when I’m in the mood for some goddamn chips and there are good chips in the pantry and then I go to my goddamn meeting and come home all excited for these chips and the fucking chips are gone. I hate that.
I went to this meeting tonight and when I got there, some chairs right up front of the action were open and I asked some old guy sitting there if they were taken and he said no, you can have a seat. And then he proceeded to ask me if he could give me some goddamn candy and I said no thank you and wished I wasn’t sitting next to this goddamn pervert the whole goddamn meeting. But that’s life.
I was at the meeting staring at the wall and I thought, isn’t it funny sometimes how you can be staring straight on at the wall and yet it’s all fuzzy and out of vision? How you can’t miss that goddamn wall because you’re staring right at it, and there’s nothing blocking your view, and yet you only see blur and unkempt images. It’s the strangest damn thing because then the next second your eyes adjust and you can see straight on, clear as a whistle.
I hated work today. I hate going in there, I hate doing stupid work that I don’t want to be doing, I hate that I can’t spend my days reading great works of fiction and brilliant philosophical theories and looking at radiant pieces of art. I hate that I have to spend my time counting down the hours so I can spend a few hours to myself at night, only to start the countdown one more time. I hate the monotony and I hate that I can’t spend my time crafting that which I desire to build. But that’s life for ya. In all its goddamn glory.
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