I HAVE A DREAM TOO, NOT SO FAR OFF FROM THAT OF THE PAST:
“I have a dream that one day my four children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”
“I have a dream” — Rev. Marin Luther King, Jr., August August 28, 1963
Reflection from May 7, 2013 @ 31 Yrs
RE: WRITING FOR THE BETTERMENT OF GOOD & DIMINISHMENT OF EVIL
I’m sitting back out on my mom’s front porch typing on my computer. The last time I can remember being in this position, sitting in this particular chair, typing on my old laptop, I was getting high and hadn’t passed the bar exam. hadn’t been in a grown up relationship yet, I was nowhere.
And so yes, back I am, living at my parents, typing on my laptop, out on the front porch. Here I am in the same exact spot, physically, so then isn’t it so funny how mentally I so very much am in just the opposite! I couldn’t be more night and day with the sole exception of my morals and values. Except even those, then, wavering they were. Now, how very steadfast they have come to be.
Which, if you look at it from that light in particular, brings a very positive spin up over the fact that I am back living with my parents. And we’ll see what I get back from my life spent in this useless marriage, but even then, in the end, I learn one and then the next all of which I have learned from it already.
In all seriousness, I keep looking for an ending to my book. My first book. There will only ever be one first. Cultivating Beauty is mine. Once she has been written, she will go out into this world all alone, I will be with her at times, but into minds she will go and I will not be able to go with her; she will be there all on her own. And she will then have to contend with the fight against evil that is out there, but ahh all the minds to influence, and while thinking I digress.
My most worst and absolutely awful therapist once told me the most helpful piece of therapeutic advice I’ve ever received. She told me, Kyrie, everything has a beginning, a middle and an end. I think I’d do well to remember that more often.
It’s so funny here, how all the little kids I used to watch driving in their little red corvette kid cars across the cal-de-sac or hear playing hide and seek from outside my window, they’re all so much older now. And so am I. There’s something there, I still cannot grasp it, something about time and space and what’s in between, but I cannot yet grasp it still. Only glimpses but never once yet a solid catch. So ethereal is this wisp of a dream of mine. Still it is, but not always will it be. A beginning, middle and end, everything does surely have.
Once it is over, it will be done. Once the chapter is final, the story is over, the book will be done. I have not yet written that final chapter. But I will know when I have and it will be bittersweet. For there is and will only ever be one that is first. One love, one loss, one life, one book.