ON SPACE & TIME – And All That Lies Between



“I have a dream that one day my four children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

“I have a dream” — Rev. Marin Luther King, Jr., August August 28, 1963


Reflection from May 7, 2013 @ 31 Yrs


I’m sitting back out on my mom’s front porch typing on my computer. The last time I can remember being in this position, sitting in this particular chair, typing on my old laptop, I was getting high and hadn’t passed the bar exam. hadn’t been in a grown up relationship yet, I was nowhere.

And so yes, back I am, living at my parents, typing on my laptop, out on the front porch. Here I am in the same exact spot, physically, so then isn’t it so funny how mentally I so very much am in just the opposite! I couldn’t be more night and day with the sole exception of my morals and values. Except even those, then, wavering they were. Now, how very steadfast they have come to be.

Which, if you look at it from that light in particular, brings a very positive spin up over the fact that I am back living with my parents. And we’ll see what I get back from my life spent in this useless marriage, but even then, in the end, I learn one and then the next all of which I have learned from it already.

In all seriousness, I keep looking for an ending to my book. My first book. There will only ever be one first. Cultivating Beauty is mine. Once she has been written, she will go out into this world all alone, I will be with her at times, but into minds she will go and I will not be able to go with her; she will be there all on her own. And she will then have to contend with the fight against evil that is out there, but ahh all the minds to influence, and while thinking I digress.

My most worst and absolutely awful therapist once told me the most helpful piece of therapeutic advice I’ve ever received. She told me, Kyrie, everything has a beginning, a middle and an end. I think I’d do well to remember that more often.

It’s so funny here, how all the little kids I used to watch driving in their little red corvette kid cars across the cal-de-sac or hear playing hide and seek from outside my window, they’re all so much older now. And so am I. There’s something there, I still cannot grasp it, something about time and space and what’s in between, but I cannot yet grasp it still. Only glimpses but never once yet a solid catch. So ethereal is this wisp of a dream of mine. Still it is, but not always will it be. A beginning, middle and end, everything does surely have.

Once it is over, it will be done. Once the chapter is final, the story is over, the book will be done. I have not yet written that final chapter. But I will know when I have and it will be bittersweet. For there is and will only ever be one that is first. One love, one loss, one life, one book.


16 thoughts on “ON SPACE & TIME – And All That Lies Between

  1. Those who don’t create, dictate the structure of our world and preach hate. Drifting out of languid boredom to destroy the structure of our kingdom.

    • Do you really think they dictate the structure of our world? Or right now, are you talking about? Like in present day American (and/or otherwise) society? Preach hate, for sure. Kinda confused on the second sentence there, are those the people who just really couldn’t care less and listen to whatever…? Hmm…you have me perplexed.

      • Literally, Those who don’t create (Activism, ideas, reforms, music, books, entertainment, etc.) preach hate about the structure of our world, while they create nothing in return.

        In my view of it, I think the creators, artists/musicians/scientists/idea-makers(Philosophers) are the ones who make this world the way it is. The music that makes everyone’s day brighter, the painters who inspire others to do the same, scientists who create new vaccines, philsophers who create no ideas/way to approach traditions.

        The ones who choose to consume, take advantage of the luxuries of said creators have made for us, constantly argue and criticize what the creators have done for us. So they “Dictate” what we have “Created” when they create nothing of their own. If I were to say your music you create sucks, then who am I to say that unless I create music also. Too many times do people “Dictate” what others have created, when they themselves do not create anything of value for others or even themselves.

        Shortly put, America has a tendency to disapprove/criticize someone’s creation. What have they created? When someone creates Nothing, they dictate others creation and preach hate about it to others.

        As creators enjoy other creators in the same field or others and do not dictate and preach hate, but collaborate. “Paul, I like your chorus, but hate the intro, as well you despise my drumming. Instead of dictating each others faults, we can work and learn together to create something even more powerful and meaningful and both of us will have experience in collaboration.” Instead of that sucks, but I do not create anything so I am allowed to say that.

        Creators of any type tend to enjoy criticism to make themselves smarter.


        “Drifting out of languid boredom to destroy the structure of our kingdom.”

        Languid, meaning lazy and content, drift out of their constant boredom to go further and lazily wanting to change their surroundings, with no action taken by people, just words, the “structure of our kingdom” may collapse, without any type of real effort.

        Sorry I typed alot, but It’s hard to explain a meaningful quote when most are subjectively viewed. This quote actually being a verse from a song.

        >Another thought before pressing post comment. Those who don’t create, do not alter our future, as much as the inspiring/creative/imaginitive “Creators” Do. The ones who do not create, speak hate about the creations of others. Be it Anything.

        Everything is from your perspective, as long as it is positive, it is important. Thanks for taking interest in this.

        • Wow, no that’s quite alright! Type away!! That was AWESOME. Thank you! I do so much more fully understand now (and tend to agree myself). There’s only one thing that sits uncomfortably with me and I can’t tell you why but I can tell you what it is – the word “dictate”. I *think* I totally know what you mean by the concept itself, but for some reason that word is just striking this hideous chord within me. Hah, maybe because it is what it is! Or maybe there’s a different word that would be more on point? I don’t know. Do you see what I mean or am I way out here in left field by myself (I think that’s the right saying)? Hmm…

              • I guess I was just wondering what your thoughts were on whether “dictate” is literally ever so slightly too strong in the circumstances in which you have used it. To me, given what you said, dictate means that the artists have no way out, no way to rise up and above. Which actually, could be quite true in reality; but I surely wouldn’t say it is impossible. Of course it’s much harder for the artists to rise above the “dictators” because the dictators have money and money makes it easy to influence, whereas building a type of grassroots with “the people” takes back-aching blood sweat and tears kind of input. I don’t know. I guess that was my question and/or misunderstanding. Does that make sense? This is pretty deep, I feel I could be smack dab on or way out in left field here. Anyways, your post sure did get me thinkin’ ;0) Hope your day is going well!

              • Dude, seriously. We were just discussing stuff and I would be happy to hear a response five months from now. There is no hurry with anything. Blogging is not a priority for anyone. It is just to speak and to be heard. Good luck with you barking!

  2. Marissa, these are very beautifully expressed reflections crossing the boundaries of time and yet linking to your same dream – one that is not too far off from that of the past. I felt as if I was a time traveler, as I started to get absorbed into the heart touching story that was getting unfolded with total transparency. Thanks for sharing it.

    As far as the advice “Marissa, everything has a beginning, a middle and an end.”; I also think that it’s a brilliant advice – regardless of the source. To me, it highlights the imperative fact of life that everything that has origination must be a subject to cessation, i.e. nothing shall remain for ever, the philosophy that is true since the dawn of mankind….and yet it’s so easy to get forgotten, in good times as well as in not-so-good times.

    I do hope your book will complete soon, as I am truly interested in reading it – as the very first customer and the reader of that book. I am sure it will come out the best, based on what I have read so far in your posts. Have a great day!


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