So, somehow between my divorce settling, my grandma passing away, things getting crazy at work, trying to fold my laundry while it’s still hot so it doesn’t get wrinkled, etc…I’ve become a real as#hole, lemme tell ya…
I know this because I got some money in the settlement and I’ve spent some of it and I’ve been walking around telling anyone who will listen all about how awesome all my new sh#t is. The exact thing I used to loathe listening to at social events with my ex-spouse. So Stupid.
But the crazy thing is, I already know this about myself. How is it then, that I so easily forget?
If you’ve been reading, you’ve heard. If not…I tend forget:
It’s funny, I’ve been telling myself for some time now, that I need to get back to meditation. It’s been almost five years now…
It’s so hard though, to sit so still, in a world so full of motion. I suppose exercise then, is the answer, or at least the first and easiest answer. Exercise is like meditation for the modern-day [wo]man, always coming back to the breath, but always too still, remaining in motion.
I can’t even tell you how long it’s taken me to write this silly little post. I have laundry cooling, wrinkling, as I sit here and write this. The idea has been marinating subconsciously for weeks now but for all the noise, all this noise that just keeps getting in the way.
I can’t think straight, and if I can’t think straight, then I cannot walk straight upon the line which differentiates between good and evil. I must get back to meditation. I must sit in the discomfort of sitting in this world so full of motion, grin and bear it, blood, sweat and tears, whatever it takes…that is what I must give of myself.
There is a line, I’ve had it on refrain now in my car, on my phone, on my computer, everywhere for a few weeks now, from a song called “The Blast” produced by Hi-Tek featuring Talib Kweli on their album “Reflection Eternal”. It goes like this:
“…they ask me what I’m writin for
I’m writin to show you what we fightin for…”
So much noise…so hard to focus in this world.