I was thinking to myself on the way to work today, about what an asshole I’ve been lately, and wondering why I seem to keep on being one, even though I’m for the most part consciously aware of it (except for when I’m actually doing it). And that led me to think about how cyclical a thinker I am, which kind of made me feel bad, because I was thinking, well, if I’m a cyclical thinker, that must be because I’m very forgetful, which isn’t typically a very umm…positive trait to have I guess.
But then I thought, well…in the words of Macklemore’s backup singer in his song Same Love, I thought, love is patient, love is kind. And so in the spirit of being loving of and patient with myself, I thought, well maybe it’s just because I have so much dang knowledge crammed up there that things just keep on slipping out, and it’s not just because I’m stupid or something. And don’t you know, Kyrie was playing by Mr. Mister at that very moment when it came to me finally, what my writing style is…
My writing style is talking to myself. Yep. This may be a bit bizarre, I am aware…but for some reason I think that’s just what works best for me. If I write for people, I usually sound like an asshole (or at least I feel like I do). But then I got to thinking, well, what is it that I do best? And that’s an easy one, I make love best. And by “making love”, of course, I mean talking myself through things via writing so that I can become the person I want to be, and being kind to others even if they may sometimes trespass against me.
So that’s my style. And I just wanted to let you know. Because although yes, I do in fact have a mental illness, that’s not the reason I’ll be sitting over here in my teeny tiny little space of the blogosphere talking to myself. It’s because I want to be a better person. And I’m trying to figure out how to be through writing.