SPEAKING OUT ON MENTAL ILLNESS – Abandonment Perceived, Felt

In working to advocate for the rights of the mentally ill, I’ve noticed a couple reactions occurring in response which are particularly disturbing.  Namely, it seems that many of my supporters are hunching back on their laurels, in fear for me and my future, hoping I don’t make a mistake that will allow others to bring me down.  Simultaneously, it feels as though many of my opponents are lying in wait, hunched down on their laurels, watching for any mistake that will allow them to pounce down upon me.  I feel trapped.

I don’t know if “abandoned” is the right word, but it sort of feels a little bit like that.  I feel like I am the one out on the field fighting the enemy alone.  I know I am not, without doubt, I know I am not.  But for some reason, I can’t seem to shed the feeling in any case.  It’s very lonely out here.

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