Reflection from February 27th, 2008 @ Age 26
RE: MY LIFE GOALS — 6 YEARS LATER — ALMOST THERE ;0)
I was thinking at work today, as I’m so prone to doing (though not necessarily with regard work work…it still doesn’t take a whole lot of brains at this point to do what I do)…anyways, I was thinking at work—sure, I guess this probate law would be alright to do, to make a good living at and maybe even be a little comfortable. But let me tell you…it’s boring as hell! I can hardly stand it, it’s so f@#king boring. I mean maybe it would be more exciting if I were…no, no—I can’t imagine how it would get much more exciting than this. Thing is, there’s not really any law I’m all that excited about. So I started thinking about what, if I could do anything, I would want to do.
So, obviously I would love to think and read and write and ponder and wonder and write some more for a dang living. But beyond that — I mean, nothing is beyond that — but in addition to that, I think I would love to be a spokeswoman for the American Bipolar Association, because I’m sure there is one and even if there isn’t, there sure as hell should be. I’d like to spearhead some sort of project with that, to increase education and awareness about the illness and all that, and to promote more research into the area to find better and especially more cost efficient ways to effectively treat the bipolar condition. That’s what I’d like to do second. Third, I think I would like to somehow get into public policy as it relates to mental illness, if there is such a thing. I don’t know, I just want to help demystify and destigmatize the particular nature of mental illness. I want to help people who are not mentally ill understand that mental illness is not a choice—it has nothing to do with willpower. Hell I’d have to say I have a pretty great willpower when it comes to most things—I can stand up and take a damn beating—but when it comes to mental illness, there simply is no choice. There is no choice to have it. There are choices, however, in treating the condition.
Anyways, what really makes me want to slit my wrists is the thought of practicing probate law or any other kind of law, or working at any other kind of job that doesn’t mean anything to me—that doesn’t allow me the opportunity to maximize what talents I do have to promote the greater good and the increased wellbeing of all humanity.