Reflection from February 19th, 2009 @ Age 27
RE: FINDING MYSELF TRAPPED WITHIN A LIFE-NIGHTMARE ;0/
One day closer to impending doom. I’m eagerly awaiting the bar exam if you can’t tell. No word from Kayleigh. With my luck Sebastian will already have a girlfriend. Hell, he’ll probably be engaged by the time Sam gets around to asking him. I’m not feeling very good about that right now in case you can’t tell. And I’m still struggling with the permanency of this Star of David on my foot. I can’t believe it’s forever. I can’t believe I’m going to have a symbol evidencing my love for David Magoon on my body for everyone to see forever. It’s really so embarrassing having to explain. I really wish I didn’t go and do that but I guess it’s a part of me now. I better get used to it. And it’s not hideous or anything, and once I publish my book it will make much more sense to people in general I think. If that ever happens, that is. I’m not feeling so good today. I don’t feel sick, but I do feel uncomfortable. I don’t understand how people meet people at the gym. I go to the gym, go through my usual routine and get the hell out of the gym. I don’t really go there to hang out if you know what I mean. I guess that’s how they do it. They must go to the gym to hang out or some bullshit like that. I can’t wait to visit Gabrielle in April. I think I’m going to try to save money and pay off my credit card debt the rest of this year. My mind is all over the place but where it really needs to be is practicing more MPTs. So here we go…I can’t escape the fun!
This is absolutely ridiculous. I’m supposed to be able to read through an entire case file and prepare an outline for the MPT in 45 minutes and I can barely read through it in that time. This is just a ridiculously serious impending doom about to fall upon me. And I can’t do a damn thing about it. It’s too late to get anything more done. I just have to let it befall upon me.
I’m pretty sure my head’s about to explode. Ohh god…