Reflection from February 1st, 2009 @ Age 27
RE: THE LINK BETWEEN MARY THE MOTHER, AND MARY THE WHORE.
Ohh my god. I can’t believe it’s already February 2009. The bar exam is at the end of the month and I’m nowhere near ready for it. Ohh well I guess.
My parents just got ready and left to go to Tuttle Mall to see the Verizon people. It makes me really nervous because first of all—why can’t they just do their business over the phone? And second of all, I’m nervous they’re going to see the text I sent Matt where I said I had fun at the hotel but got weirded out because we didn’t wear a condom. I know better than to write shit like that out. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. That was just a whole terrible situation with that kid. I knew better…so why didn’t I act accordingly? Ohh well, I guess the worst that could happen is that my parents would find out I’m a slut. And that would be their own prerogative to judge me like that. Yes—it’s a very stupid thing I did and it was even more stupid to write something like that out, but I’m a stupid girl sometimes so what more can I say? I can be very smart and I can be very stupid. It’s really just a toss up now isn’t it? Ohh I don’t know why I’m busy judging myself as a whore and as stupid again. I can be very judgmental of myself you know. I’m going to end this conversation while I’m ahead (just barely). I’m not a slut and I’m not stupid. And that’s that.