Reflection from January 4th, 2004 @ Age 22
RE: FORCE VS. POWER.
I am so fed up with Danny. He called me selfish last night because I wanted to sleep against the wall by the heater so I didn’t freeze my ass off in his freezing fucking room, and because I wanted a pillow to hug while I slept so I got up and left because I would rather sleep comfortably in my own bed than without a pillow to hug in a cold room sharing a single bed with him.
I didn’t even want to sleep over. I wanted to be with him, that’s why I was going to stay. And what’s more, I am sick and tired of the fucking name calling. That boy’s got some real growing up to do. I also do not feel comfortable around his father. I really want to because I really like Mr. Klein, but I just don’t feel comfortable around him, in the same way I don’t really feel comfortable around my uncles. What’s wrong with this picture? I wish I had a clue.
I also really refuse to take help from Danny’s bitchy snobby stuck up ugly (inside and out!) sister Shana. She is such a bitch! All with her I have such an important job, and my life revolves around Jones Day and sticking my head up my superiors’ assholes and Jones Day has increased my drinking tolerance so much. Could she be anymore full of herself? I think not because I’d be afraid to see otherwise.
So anyways, I refuse to ask her for help because I do not like her, period. Moreover, I want to prove to that bitch (but more importantly to myself) that you don’t have to go to a top fucking ten law school to do well and score an amazing job doing what you love, enjoy and are inspired by. I will not let these evil’s hold me down.
So today the 2004 workout regime begins. Time to lose 10 pounds to dazzle the law world and more importantly to feel good about my body and health. I’m watching ”A Few Good Men” now (so good!) and doing laundry. Though why is it called a few good men when Demi Moore is clearly a woman? Hmm.
I just wanted to take a moment to let myself know that I will love me no matter what kind of grades I end up scoring this semester. I’d like to remind myself that I did everything I could possibly do within my power, the very best that I could for fall 2003 and no matter what Maris – I’m proud of you. Also, I’m proud to say that workout regime 2004 has officially begun and I’m very excited to get back into it and get in shape because I definitely, most definitely, need it!