Reflection from March 27th, 2002 @ Age 20
RE: SO, ENJOY THE GOOD IN EVERYTHING WHILE IT LASTS & IGNORE THE BAD, BECAUSE IT WILL ALL BE OVER BEFORE YOU KNOW IT ANYWAYS ;0)
Life is good! I wrote a philosophy paper last night that was pretty good I think, and did pretty well on my psychology test too. I have a great schedule with great classes lined up for next semester including “Law & Economics”! Hoorah! And I have been offered a summer internship from a real live law firm! And the state auditor’s legal division…both to be in Columbus with my three brothers, sister-in-law, myBella, Katie, Becky maybe, Reagan etc. and even possibly Danny—who told me last night he wanted to live with me this summer! Hoorah! I’m smoking a cig and a bowl…simultaneously as I write. I’m in love with philosophy, my law school/career dream, and Danny! He is so good to me and we just have so much fun when we hang out (which is all the time, but I still make time for my women!).
Ohh myDanny! So much to tell! He is just so wonderful that I think I will have a heart attack if I ever find anything I don’t love about him. And now, don’t get me wrong…I know there are some qualities in both of us that we will eventually grow annoyed by, but so far all these things have been so endearing that I simply cannot help loving him either way.
I think one of my favorite things about him as of yet is the way he makes me feel so brand new and it’s as if all the other burns I have from past relationships just fade away. And I love his laugh, and his big green eyes, and his floppy brown hair. I love the sense of innocence he too possesses. The list just goes on and on.
The only thing I have any reservation about is what I believe to be my naïve notion that this could be a love that will last forever. I feel like as much as I want it right now, I guess there is just no hope for it lasting for forever. Yeah…okay enough, it is depressing me at the very thought. But do you see what I mean? What do I do with this feeling? Where can I put it? Is it safe to hide it away somewhere deep inside of myself?
Okay Full House is going off the tv…hold on.
Ahh! Better! Much better. Ohh but I cannot help it…I am so in love with Danny. What to do? What to do? I can hardly believe it, but it’s so amazing and feels like it has already lasted forever! And I have enjoyed every single second I have spent with him, thinking about him, dreaming about us. It’s so intense I can hardly stand it sometimes. But I will, must, keep my eyes open and take in each new breath with adornment.
Okay…too stoned to write anymore. I’m cold, need a cig, and then I’m going to see Danny!