ON LIFE — And The Crazy Game of Poker It Is ;0)

Reflection from March 11th, 2002 @ Age 20

RE:  LOVE 101.

I’m afraid to call Danny though I desperately want to.  I’m sure it will be okay when I just get up the guts to call him.  I’m not sure why I’m nervous.  Well…okay I kind of know why.  I cried the night before we left because he was talking about how he is going to be away this summer and next semester and I was just sad because he’s so great and it just sucks that we just now met and clicked and before we know it we will be separated again.  Which doesn’t mean we can’t still be together…I just won’t get to see him forever which just sucks big fat hairy fucking balls.  Damn Denison!  Ughh! 

So anyways, I was sad so I cried and he and I talked for a long time, then got it on the rest of the night and then he brought me breakfast…yeah…how fucking sweet is that?!  I love him!  And then he came over in the afternoon after I turned in my math test in and sat with me while I threw shit in a suitcase and then smoked me up before I left with JenJen for the airport.  I really am just beyond crazy about him and I just can’t get enough and I think I can be kind of maybe a little overbearing sometimes when I am really crazy about something.  So I really hope he doesn’t scare easily!  Because I am fucking utterly and completely and hopelessly in love with him at this point.

How frustrating can this life get?  It just drives me crazy sometimes!  Gahh!

Other than that, I’m home right now which is okay, well…it kinda really sucks to be honest, but it is nice to see mom and dad and spend some time with them. 

I just don’t want to come back here until Christmas, that’s all…and even then I only want to come for like a week or so because it’s just so fucking boring and lonely here!  I want to be where my life is, and where my friends and my lover are.  Ya know?  I just really need my space and freedom to figure shit out and I need to be with my peers and all.

But I am happy to be home because I am getting healthy and shit done and…shit the phone rang and I thought it might be you know who…and I missed the parents and I think they were happy to see me as well.  And I have been getting tons of sleep, as well as all kindsa other shit that needed to be done.  So…I might go try Danny.  Ohh lord!


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