Reflection from June 24th, 2016 @ Age 35

RE:  **SPELL** IT OUT ;0)

Sigh.  I’m nearing exhaustion again—except, to the point where I’m gonna need to cease smoking and pick up running and toning again ’til I finish this paper, or I’m not sure I’ma finish this paper.  Sigh…

It’s not even a doubt that I won’t finish, or that it won’t be great—I will and, it will.  Both will be great—my work and I.  It’s just that it is so exhausting!  The work!  And hence, I—the one who is doing the work!  It is exhausting to sit and focus for hours and hours on end—focus, focus, focus on capturing the light!  Hocus pocus focus, I guess ;oD



I’ma go and continue on with “Lord of the Rings” at present.  I’ve—since my birthday, begun reading book no.3 of the trilogy.  And, it has been helping me—reading him whilst simultaneously working on wrapping up, part no.1 of this massive public policy undertaking (which, for some reason—I chose to undertake all by myself ;0)…



No, I know why—and so does Nietzsche, as he clearly explicates in my prologue ;0)

I do it, because I —CAN— sigh…

And, because somebody has to—and if I do not, then it will not happen.  Ohh my good Lord—it feels like I will never make it to the end!  But only, because I cannot see the end at present—not because I haven’t already, seen the end.  The end is massive, and beautiful—and powerful and groundbreaking and epic and, all that jazz.  And just like age 35—these stages, I must pass through to reach the end which is sought.  There is no question, though—it will, be worth it.

Sigh…ohh good God!


The notions of delivery and childbirth come to mind.  Everything hurts; not in a bad way or unhealthy sense, I don’t think—just in the sense that something is moving through me, and I am giving life to it.  Just in that sense ;oD


I —am— exhausted!!!!!!!


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