Reflection from August 8th, 2014 @ Age 33


Speaking in terms of the soul, I feel as though I am starving.  Which, to the immediate senses, does not feel so good.  But upon further reason and investigation—I am no longer, empty inside.  So, I think that’s progress ;0)

Hurt as it may…

It’s still, progress.  And that’s a good thing; so I think I’ma be okay.  Nahh…

I’ma be better than okay hahahah!


If you can find the light in any given situation, then there is a REASON—for everything!  But, only because you put it there, you know?  Only because you created something, worth seeing—which then, would be the reason.  The reason which justifies the suffering…

Holy hell…

What’ve I just figured OUT?!!


So anyways, then, with this Murphy bit…

I think it’s gonna have to be absolutely and without doubt, 100% just absolutely beautiful and gorgeous, to look at—like, as in, to read.  To just suck them RIGHT in, you know?  So, beautiful…

But also brilliant and slightly intimidating, except—absolutely, positively no more intimidating than it absolutely must be, in order to get the point across.  Stop these U.S. legislators from blindly stealing away people’s civil rights, n’all…


What else?!!


It’s both difficult and necessary to remember that, walking through the fire is—actually, the whole entire point to this game.  It helps to remember that—and it’s incredibly destructive, to forget it.  Which then henceforth and hitherto bleeds, into its necessity.  Hmm…

Lots of helpful thoughts today so far!!


Actually, to be precise

I thought of that last thought there above, about walking through the fire and all—I thought of that yesterday.  But I was too goddamned emotionally overwrought with the trauma of having to complete this SSDI/SSI “Function” Form—that I either didn’t have the energy or just totally forgot, to write it down.  So, thank you —UNIVERSE—for reminding me today!!


I have to find the joy because it hurts so much, I’d otherwise kill myself.  That is all.  That is the flat, sex-less truth.  This existence is so goddamn MISERABLE—that if I were not great, I would have already killed myself.  That is the reason and the only reason, that I am still alive.  Sigh

No wonder—this heavy weight, upon my shoulders all my life.  No goddamned wonder

It’s gonna take a WonderWOMAN—to get out, from underneath this abyss…

God and David in the high heavens above…

Please help me now…


“I always catch up on my reading when I’m in jail,” hah

Martin Luther King Jr. said that ;0)

Malcom Gladwell said so…


Ohhh David, I feel so all alone.


Well, at least in knowing that Angelina Jolie is on rape—I can fully concentrate on this whole mental “illness” project, along with saving the country and the world and all.  I do feel better though…

I felt so much better when I saw in my last Glamour (or whatever the hell else magazine it was, that they’re still sending to my mother’s closed-down gym)—I felt so much better knowing, that Angelina is working on the women’s rights/rape issue.  I mean, there’s a lot of other issues here to deal with n’all—but, there’s no one in whom I’d feel more confident to entrust the women’s/rape issue.  No doubt…

Alright, I have no idea what to do next


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