Reflection from November 7th, 2016 @ Age 35
RE: WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE YOU’VE LOST ON THE SURFACE—BUT REALLY, YOU *ALREADY* WON FROM BENEATH ;oD
Hiya! It’s me ;oD
So, I woke up this morning—prolly not even a half-an-hour ago, and went downstairs to let Dietrich out. In the process, I found myself, well, humming, to my self—Gloria Estefan, ‘Get on Your Feet!’ Doo doo, doo doo doo doo! Get up, and maaaake it happen ;oD
So, that was kinda funny—I figure, if she can get me through the Conga that was competitive gymnastics, then, well…
Frankly, she can get me through anything! Which is great news but of course, given we’re but four days past payday—and I already, but for approximately $350, I’ve already almost drained my bank account! I mean, thank God for this policy paper no.1 ;oD I don’t even know what I’d do with myself—in its absence!
And then, otherwise, just got two fortunes sitting here on my desk from the Chinese dinner Mama brought home last Friday night—let’s get this over with, shall we? ;oD
Okay…plastic removed—but cookies not yet cracked, noting: it’s kinda hard to believe I totally finished my big ol’ black cat “Prochainement: Tournee du Chat Noir” journal from Christmas a couple years back! It’s one of the super big ones, you know—leather bound and massive, like this one (!) from Barnes and Noble…
Ahh anyways, just exciting is all—I love leading a life wherein I can generate such interesting events, that I can so extensively talk on and on and on…
Halcyon, and on, and on…
Okay, in any case ;oD
No.1: “You are a person of culture. Cultivate it.”
No.2: “You have the endurance for the long haul.”
I tell you what—bein’ a writer, is THE best dream come true ;0)
DEEP in your heart is the ahh ahhnswer…
Find it—you know, it’ll PULL you through!
It just, occurred to me—the manner, the sense in which my whole entire mental-health legislative advocacy experience…
Well, in a sense—how very similar it is, to when I was a very, very wee lit-tle girl ;oD
And, I used to have—like, as in literally HAVE…
To lay down on the kitchen floor and throw…just all up n’ throw a TEMPER tantrum—in order to allow, well, in “order” to get my (biological) father to “allow” my mama to stop working (full-time, in Cleveland with a two-hour round-trip daily commute + dishes + laundry + homemade cooking etc. etc. whilst he “worked” the dream at the record shop—lol, at Camelot ;oD) sigh…in order to get him to allow her to STOP—and for God’s sake, sit down in the rocking chair and rock with her daughter. With her baby girl daughter—i.e. me ;oD
I been makin’ scenes my whole life! ;oD
I think I’ve just entered a higher—well, an even higher ;oD
State of consciousness, ‘cause I’m starting to see once again as new—things that’ve been lost for what seems forever, inside my consciousness.
Wow! I feel exhausted! And I also gotta say—I’ve got lotsa negative energy comin’ in regarding money, and it has nothing to do with me ;oD
This’s the form of the incoming thought processes:
All that money—to still lose EVERYTHING!
I mean, you know how DRAMATIC they can be—but, all the same…
Pret-ty phenomenal, if ya ask ME ;0)
That being said though—I really do feel sick ;o(
The psychological nausea…
I love it—painful as it may be. That I’m sitting here all up in arms—wanting to pounce n’all, on the ludicrousness of the thoughts offered yesterday, by some plastic historian. Just all up in arms, I am—wanting to defend James Comey today, regarding the GOP’s upcoming demonization of him ;oD
And yet, I can just hear Obama’s presence within my own consciousness—HOLD your horses Miss Mari’s ;oD
And so, this will go just as according to plan. ‘Cause the mind nausea is so super painful, at present—and I really DO gotta go take Dietrich for a walk at long last today, in any case.
Ohh Lord help me—you can DO it ;oD
You—can do anything ;0)
*o*Kayyy—mental health walk with Dietrich time…
You can —DO— it Maris…
I know you can ;0)