ON HAVING BECOME — The **Beast** of BURDEN ;oD

Reflection from October 2nd, 2016 @ Age 35

RE:  BOY!  **THAT** PETER BEAGLE, AND **NIETZSCHE** ;0)

A few things—just to get off, of my chest ;0)

First of all, policy paper no.1 is really COMING now!  Truly!  It’s so exciting!!!!!!  And yet, I’m not getting all excited, about it—YET ;oD

Which is a good thing—because as it TURNS out, Nietzsche was TOTALLY right, again

Until you can put your thoughts on ice—it is BEST, not to enter the HEAT of debate!

;oD

I love it!  But all the same, back to the ICE—gotta new flying quadruple helix yet, to perfect!

Okay, what else?  Second

Sigh, about my dad ;o/

No big deal—my biological father I mean, except to say he really pissed me off the other day again.  I was hanging out with him in his “man-cave” (the creation of which, I notably—orchestrated…but, anyways…)—we were hanging out and I think, talking about my taxes again.  Got another letter from the IRS sayin’ something once more about having to file a 2015 1041 income tax return—if I’m planning on utilizing in the future, more Government Health Insurance Marketplace benefits or whatevs.  So anyways, we were talking about that, and then he says…

Ohh yes, and all the while, keep in mind—the reason why I won’t be needing that Marketplace assistance, is because I’m presently receiving Social Security Disability coordinated Medicare benefits.

Anyways, we’re talking and he says, “Once you’re done reimbursing me for paying your taxes,” which notably were due mostly in part to his decision unbeknownst to me, to claim me as a dependent on his and my mom’s 2014 income tax return—he says:

“Once you’re done paying me back for that, what would you think about getting back to paying me rent?”

Arrgggghhhhh…

So, ANNOYING!  I was like, “Are you trying to make money off of me?”—all the while wondering given my SSDI status, how in the world his suggestion made any sense.  And he responded, “No.  I’m just trying to get help paying my expenses.”  Grrrrr…

I dunno, I just don’t get it!  I don’t understand why he would seek out his most financially destitute child—to help him, with his expenses!  Why not John for God’s sake?  And, for that matter—why not any of his male, children?  It actually feels rather anticlimactic now, which is a good thing—namely I suppose because I’ve taken those thoughts and put them on ice, which is so super helpful (THANK you, Nietzsche!!!!!!).  But really, you know what I mean?  The one female child, who also happens to be the now-adult with no financial assets yet saved—the teeniest, tiniest income comprised of nothing more than social security disability, governmental income benefits…

I’m the one—he chooses to ask for financial assistance.  It doesn’t make any sense, and what was (at the time) even more infuriating—is that the whole reason we were sitting there talking in the first place, was in regard to his decision which he made without my consent—to claim me as dependent on his tax return which would then provide him, with a financial benefit.  I tell you whatevery day now it seems, the manner in which I appreciate my Grandma Varcho is growing!  And so I fret not, in knowing—that what’s happening here is nothing short, of a divine blessing ;0)

Seriously though, I cannot believe—she didn’t, commit suicide!!  I’ve been through this whole analysis before as it relates to her—but like I said, every day, my appreciation for her is growing.

And then, what else?  There was one other thing he did that was stimulating some irritation on my own behalf—what was it?  Hmm…

Ohh I can’t even remember now, but I’m sure if it’s truly important—the thought will eventually, find its way back ;0)

Sigh…

Umm…

Yeah, I suppose that’s it!  I’m actively ignoring politics and Twitter right now—because the creative juices and accompanying brilliant thoughts are presently flowing.  Cookin’ on three burners, hah!

Heaven’s Gate Soul Station—headin’ for America!

Here we go ;oD

2 thoughts on “ON HAVING BECOME — The **Beast** of BURDEN ;oD

  1. Pingback: ON THE PHANTOM — And The Opera ;oD | JANE SAYS

  2. Pingback: ON WORMWOOD — And His **Dear** UNCLE ;0) | THE CULTIVATION OF BEAUTY

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