Reflection from January 26th, 2017 @ Age 35
RE: BRAINS THAT WERE **BUILT** TO TOLERATE SHENANIGANS ;oD
Okay, I’m just about’a hop in the bath—but, just to get this down, before I forget…
Last time I was in to see Dr. S, just a bit earlier this month it was, I think—he said something that most definitely, caught my interest. Let’s see…
What was it? To the best of my recollection—the conversation, went something, like this:
So, basically, we were talking about my utilization of stimulants—and I asked him why it was, err, well…
I asked him, what it was about my brain, scientifically speaking—that causes these stimulants (generic Adderall—regular and/or extended release) to, over time, just stop working (at least, efficiently). Which was a particularly important question, to ask—noting, that when the stimulants stop working, I have to take more, to “achieve” the same effect. Which, then becomes problematic—but of course, in the sense of enhancing unwanted stimulant-induced side-effects.
And so, he said something about my brain (i.e. brains with my kinda bipolar-I alternative brain chemistry structure, presumably)—having a ton’a different, kinds of dopamine receptors. And then, in addition, err, well, on top of that, I guess—that my brain (here though—in particular, he said), based upon having extensive knowledge of my case study into the matter…
He said that my brain in particular—seems to have a very, umm, extensive threshold, in terms of developing tolerance.
So, I was like, “Okay—and what does that mean, again?”
And he was like, “Well, basically your brain in particular gets used to the stimulants, very quickly”—more quickly than the “norm” even (for my kinda brain chemistry structure), and that was the gist of it.
But, that seemed like a super important point. Notably, in the sense, that it does make sense of a scenario—whereby a human like me, would have a “highly addictive” type’a personality. And so, in regard to any given stimulant I may happen to consume, then—(i.e. constructive vs. destructive, you see) over time I need more and more of it, to “achieve” the same heights of stimulation otherwise provided, in the beginning. When I first started consuming it—whatever stimulant, it may happen to be.
Which then seems particularly applicable in the sense, also, of, say, why a stimulant such as music, or art, or really, spirituality just generally speaking—would help to, cure my “serious mental illness” as opposed to other kinds’a stimulants (i.e. drugs, money—really, just any particular focus on those kinds’a things).
And that’s all I can do for now. I gotta go get in the bath and cleanse myself.
I did feel a bit better today—which was nice. A relief!