Written Reflection from March 29th, 2017 @ Age 35



Sigh.  Sadie is missing.  I gotta go see if she got locked in the crawlspace—in the basement…

Sigh.  Hoping NOT, to find a dead cat body—but, without death, there is no life.  So…

It is what it is, and I’ve NOTHING—to worry about ;oD

Also, though, to get it off my chest—something happened that made me feel WEIRD, a few days back.

Essentially, I was on Twitter scanning headlines, right—and then, ALL of a sudden, there’s a @HuffPostEnt(ertainment) tweet with a headline and article about Hailie Jade Scott (a.k.a. Marshall Bruce Mathers’, daughter)…


And, it creeped me out, in the sense of seein’ a ghost—and it repelled me, in the sense’a not wanting to, well…

Okay, so



Sigh.  For whatever reason(s), you know—I just feel repelled by articles online that relate to Prince Harry’s dating life.  So, Prince HARRY—as in, Princess Diana’s son.  They just repel me—and, NOT ‘cause I’m not interested or anything…

Just, kinda, in that sense of wanting to respect that privacy—I guess.

I dunno, I mean—I’m having trouble explaining it in words that I feel’d, relatively speaking, make a whole lotta SENSE…

And, I suppose, then, there’d come the HENCE—MY, feelin’ weird about these, well, sigh

Situations.  So, anyway…

There’s THAT, but then, also—I dunno…

People say all KINDS’a things about other people, you know—so, it just is what it is and those articles repel me, in that sense…

At least, as it relates to those two particular individuals

Sigh, but THEN—I just kept getting the feeling that, well, to look at that particular @HuffPostEnt article in any case.  Which was very annoying, GIVEN that the article had repelled me in the first place—for the aforementioned reasons.  Which, then, caused me to ponder the thought on the back-burner—for the past two days, ’til I finally gave in before I sat down to write here, and looked at the article.


And then, I felt so. much. BETTER ;oD

But, NOW—sigh…

I’m listening to my (bio) ma downstairs

Whistling around, for [my now presumed—DEAD?]—Sadie the cat

Sigh.  So, I’ma go check it OUT…

I’ll be back


Okay, NOT—in the basement, sigh…

This’s very strange—but first, I have to say…

This’s also the last page’a my dragon journal, here—so, one sec…

I’ll be BACK, but, in my other new journalwith the heart keys, you know, n’all a’THAT!


I love how, when I say things that are “weird,” NOW—I catch myself in my mind, WHILST, I’m saying it…

And it’s like, my mouth is moving n’saying “it”—whatever IT, may be


And, while that’s all goin’ on out in the “surface” realm—I’m simultaneously thinking to myself, “Well, isn’t THAT—an interesting thing ta say…”


So, for example

That just happened, HERE—after I finished up scouting out, the basement.  I came back upstairs and my [bio] ma’s all, just, still calling for her—Sadie, I mean, in the basement.  Grrr…

And, I’m like, “she’s not down there, mom—unless she’s DEAD, she’s not down there.”

And, she got all tripped up, on the death part—so, I was like, “I just mean—there was no movement; so, if she’s still LIVING—she’s not in the basement.”

And THEN, she’s just goin’ on and on, and as I’m walkin’ up the stairs into the loft—I heard myself, in my MIND, I heard my body sayin’…

“Well, I dunno ma!  Unless she finally went outside—I mean, she did have that boyfriend…”


And, I mean, she DID!  This black cat, that’d come and sit on the outside—of the front and/or back porch, glass doors

And, she’d sit opposite him (gender—relative…)—on the inside, and they’d just stare at each other ;oD

So, anyways…


There’s THAT—I’m all set up here in ma’ Barnes & Noble heart keys, journal…


And, at LONG lickety last—we get, to the strange part a’all this…


Which, notably—is…


Alright, the plumber guy saw her back in the back a’the basement’s back room—hidin’…


WTF?!!  Now she’s crying…

One sec…

Amanda and Hailie—when I get back!


Okay.  That was WEIRD!


She’s fine, just freaked OUT—‘cause, as it turned out, the carpet sopping in the basement was indeed, well…

Smelled, like cat piss, HOWEVER—it was sopping (as was later, revealed) due to an altogether “separate” issue (a.k.a. a broken water heater).  So

I lost the train—ONE sec!


Ohh yeah…

So, SHE was freaked out and in hiding, due to sameplumber guy, though, was just down there, found her, PICKED her up (which she HATES!) and brought her upstairs

Which, then, explains her bloody murder cries—whilst, plumber guy transported her back into my (bio) parents’ bedroom.  And then, my (bio) ma is all flippin’ out about the ol’ situation here, you see—so, I go back to check on her beneath their bed, and sure enough…

She was hiding ‘cause she was freaked the eff OUT—due to all the commotion (what with cleaning carpets n’ fixing broken water heaters) (well, replacing, but—YOU know, details…) urghhh!

Okay, she, freaked the eff OUT—due, to:

No.1.  SERVICE-men related, commotion;

No.2.  (potentially…) CARELESS handling of her bodyby, said, “service” men;

Well, MAN—really, in this


Nevermind ;oD

No.3. Bein’ enclosed, after same, back in my (bio) parents’ bedroom—whilst the service-men are here to do, well, their thang


And so, I go back there, and honestly—sure enough, she was just freaked the eff out for reasons that seem to me, entirely obvious, at this point

So, I came out to the kitchen and told my (bio) ma, she was fine—took some CAT-nip back there for her, to help her, calm the eff down

And, here we are—moving on, to the strange part…


Which was that, while I was downstairs, IN the basement, looking for her—it occurred to me that my younger cousin (bio!) Amanda, just the other DAY, was asking ‘bout Sadie…

So, LET’s see…

Sunday after, the Friday opening of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (to the masses—I mean…)—well, LET’s see…

Yeah, Amanda met us (bio brother, legal sistahhh, niece, and nephew a.k.a. oh!) wait…

Strike that—from the record…



Lol, I’m j/k ‘cept for the part that my NEPHEW (a.k.a. Godson)—was in fact, NOT there…

But, yeah, Andy and Rach and Arianna, my (bio) ma n’ ME—well, Amanda met us all at the theatre, to see Beauty and the BEAST.  (Obviously, Disney’s…)

And, after the movie, I was talkin’ with Amanda—during which time, she asked me, if Sadie was still kickin’…

So, I’m 35 now, and Amanda’s ‘bout a’graduate from Ohio State, like, next MONTH—which’d put her, with an October birthday, umm

Just, prolly around 22 years of age, NOW—a.k.a. umm…

Then, ELEVEN years of age—when I had her and our other girl cousin (Nora ;oD) over to my Coventry, fall-of-fourth-year-in-law-school apartment on Lancashire, whew!

For an overnight, STAY!  So, fall’a 2006—Nora (9—maybe…?), Amanda (11—I think…), n’ ME (25—undoubtedly).  And, generally speaking, that’s how Amanda knows ‘bout ma’ Sadie—a.k.a. about WHOM, Amanda asked if she was still living, last Sunday…

And, so, THAT’s what I was thinking ‘bout whilst I was downstairs in the basement lookin’ for Sadie—how interesting, it WAS, that Amanda’d just asked me if Sadie was still living…

Amanda, my girl cousin—who is also in her early twenties…


Ohio State **verses** Michigan—is RIGHT ;oD

That scraggly RABBIT ;oD

I love him—with my whole united-BACK-together, heart.


Whew.  Hot n’ heavy, TOO—is right…


Marissa Kristina Varcho ++ her whole <3.



—> carries female body;

—> humanity raises female body (housing boy spirit);


—> delivers female body from evil;

—> female body becomes, LADY JUSTICE;

—> a.k.a. Mother of God/i.e. MOTHER Mary;


—> delivers her boy spirit, from evil;

—> Lady Justice evolves, into Lady Liberty;

—> a.k.a. Mary Magdalene/i.e. lover of Christ;

And THEN, … ;oD


—> delivers her girl spirit, from evil;

—> a.k.a. the rebirth (of “democracy”—into **freedom**) of T-H-E, Virgin Mary;

—> i.e. Lady Amalthea/the last Unicorn—whatever you wanna call her ;oD

ThatIS wild




ALL of the above ;oD

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