Reflection from April 4th, 2017 @ Age 35
RE: STIMULATING **THAT** HEART—FROM AMERICA’S **GREEN** ROOM ;0)
Ohhh, my good —GOD— sigh…
Ohh my God…
Ohh my God…
Sigh. Breathe in—love is patient…
Breathe OUT—love is kind…
I have to tell you—I have a sense of impending, umm…
Something! In the best sense—but, all the SAME!
Sigh! Ahh—may—ZING! Whew! But, really! All the same! My heart—is racing ;oD
I’ma take some remedies here, to help—and go read some *Thus Spoke Zarathustra* a la Friedrich Nietzsche (a.k.a. my good GOD!)
Ohhh my God! Sigh. What is presently processing?!!!!!!!
Something B—I—G ;oD
That’s for SURE’s sure—mos DEF for sure, and without doubt!
Sigh. Breathe in—love is patient; breathe OUT—love is kind. I know everything’s gonna be *A* okayyy—good, great, n’all so much —BETTER— than fine ;oD
But, honest to God—my heart is racing here, for sure…
Just. keep. BREATHING—Maris! And have some faith—my dear…
Okay, tarantulas—and, I will.
Apart from its role as a defense mechanism, the prisoners’ apathy was also the result of other factors. Hunger and lack of sleep contributed to it (as they do in normal life, also) and to the general irritability which was another characteristic of the prisoners’ mental state. The lack of sleep was due partly to the pestering of vermin which infested the terribly overcrowded huts because of the general lack of hygiene and sanitation. The fact that we had neither nicotine nor caffeine also contributed to the state of apathy and irritability.
Besides these physical causes, there were mental ones, in the form of certain complexes. The majority of prisoners suffered from a kind of inferiority complex. We all had once been or had fancied ourselves to be “somebody.” Now we were treated like complete nonentities. (The consciousness of one’s inner value is anchored in higher, more spiritual things, and cannot be shaken by camp life. But how many free men, let alone prisoners, possess it?) Without consciously thinking about it, the average prisoner felt himself utterly degraded. This became obvious when one observed the contrasts offered by the singular sociological structure of the camp. The more “prominent” prisoners, the Capos, the cooks, the store-keepers and the camp policemen, did not, as a rule, feel degraded at all, like the majority of prisoners, but on the contrary—promoted! Some even developed miniature delusions of grandeur. The mental reaction of the envious and grumbling majority toward this favored minority found expression several ways, sometimes in jokes. For instance, I heard one prisoner talk to another about a Capo, saying “Imagine! I knew that man when he was only the president of a large bank. Isn’t it fortunate that he has risen so far in the world?”
Whenever the degraded majority and the promoted minority came into conflict (and there were plenty of opportunities for this, starting with the distribution of food) the results were explosive. Therefore, the general irritability (whose physical causes were discussed above) became most intense when these mental tensions were added. It is not surprising that this tension often ended in a general fight. Since the prisoner continually witnessed scenes of beatings, the impulse toward violence was increased.
VIKTOR E. FRANKL, M.D., Ph.D.
Man’s Search for Meaning