ON SOUND VIBRATIONS — Reverberating, Throughout Your *Entire* Body ;0)

Reflection from December 30th, 2013 @ Age 32

RE:  CARING EMOTIONALLY—FOR, *THE* MOTHER ;oD

Honestly, given my life circumstances—I don’t know who wouldn’t want to blow their goddamn head off, if they had to be me.  I honestly don’t.  So, I’m trying to make the best with what I’ve got over here—and, people just will not fucking leave me alone.  They all know best.  Fucking assholes; they know nothing.  If they knew anything at all—they would’ve been able to help me by now.  They know nothing; the fucking assholes

I’m very angry and irritable right now, just in case you can’t tell.  I can’t get this stupid Apple TV to work right and, I think it has to do with the Internet—actually, nothing to do with the Apple device at all.  But it still annoys me.  It annoys me that fucking WordPress has still not fucking gotten my motherfucking video to work.  I just hate everything.  Ohh…

There the sound goes, out again.  Dietrich’s driving me crazy.

I just wish there was someone who had a little faith in me.  Rachel is it.  And she’s largely busy—and, so it’s really just me.  It’s lonely.  It’s lonely being alone and seeing all the beauty inside of my head, alone.  I am alone.  And I don’t know whether I will too, always be.

My TV is awesome, and the speakers man…even better!  They’re not Bose—but, they’re perfect for what I need so, I don’t really care.  The Bose in the car make a difference because I think that’s really the only speaker “upgrade” you can get, and because—ohh, I don’t know…

I don’t fucking care…

I have to read this legislation—and, I don’t want to.  I’d rather go get a pack of cigarettes and smoke myself to death than do so.  But, I will do so anyways.  I will put my S.A.D. lamp on and read this legislation, and then figure a way to fix it—and then, find a way to fix myself in the process.  And my life—I will, fix it.  It’s long since been broken anyways and, as I’m well aware—any great creation comes first, as a great mess.  It’s time to clean up

Later

My dad’s mad at me for not emotionally taking care of my mother today.  I’d love to ask him how, and why—it became, my job.  Maybe if he tried, once in awhile…

I don’t know.  My Apple TV’s not working, and I want to kill it—along with WordPress and everything else just before, I kill myself ;0(

To the Murphy’s Law, I go…